Islam’s View on Friendship With Opposite Sex (Part I)

TEHRAN -- The existence of privacy between a man and a woman in Islamic law is based on a developmental truth, and if there is no privacy in the relationship between a boy and a girl, their soul is exposed to this developmental attraction and the positive attractions that are necessary for the evolution of the soul are taken away.

Friendship with the opposite sex is a relationship in which two opposite sexes, having sexual desires and functions, present and receive messages in verbal and non-verbal form, the content of which is speech, intimacy, love and interest. The goal in this type of relationship between a foreign girl and a boy is a relationship, which is not a prelude to something else. The example is the relationship between a girl and a boy who are related to each other, or a girl and a boy who have a scientific or professional relationship with each other, or interact with each other on an economic basis. In these cases, the relationship is not the goal.
A relationship that is the subject of discussion is a relationship that is not a prelude to anything else, where the gender of the parties is the issue, and the way they look at each other is gendered, and in these relationships, feelings and emotions play the central role. In these relationships, there is a kind of entanglement between the sexual instinct and the emotional powers of the parties, and it is mostly impossible for the parties to separate them. Sometimes the interest in the opposite sex and the need to communicate with him or her overstep religious and social norms.
One of the human physical desires is the sexual instinct, and this instinct should be used in the way of forming a family and the continuation of the human race and peace, and the satisfaction of this instinct should be at the heart of the family. Islam has shown the best paths to man in all matters and has expressed the Shari’a ruling about the relationship between a boy and a girl or a man and a woman.
In verse 32 of Surah al-Ahzab, it is mentioned that talking to non-mahrams should be done properly so that it is not exciting, provocative and sinful. “If you will be on your guard, then be not soft in (your) speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease yearn; and speak a good word.” In this verse, after stating the high position of the wives of the Prophet (PBUH) due to their relation to that Prophet (PBUH), Allah considers their position conditional on piety and says that their virtue is not due to their connection to the Messenger of God (PBUH) but rather because of piety.
Therefore, He forbids them from softness in speech. Softness in speech means to soften the tone of speech in front of men in order to induce the party to develop evil thoughts, to arouse his lust, and as a result, make the man who is sick in his heart fall into greed.
“And say well-known sayings” means to speak normally and directly – a speech that is approved by Islamic Sharia and customs, and it is a speech that only conveys its meaning (without adding charm and cuteness to it so that the listener, in addition to understanding its meaning, falls into temptation).